Unbelievable...

            She called me last night to talk about working it out.

            Huh?

            Basically, she laid it all at my feet. It’s all up to me, it always has been. I just need to show some effort. Apparently, I need to take responsibility for my part in all this.

            Needless to say, I was speechless.

            Her unerring ability to deflect responsibility is beyond the scope of my meager wordsmithing talents to describe to you. Suffice it to say that, she told me she never wanted this and it’s been my decision all along.

            She kicked me out. She told me she doesn’t want me to come back. And somehow, it was me all along.

            I was flabbergasted. There comes a point when the mind can no longer allow the shit to be shoveled into any more.

            “Well, what do you have to say?”

            “Whatever you want. Everything that comes out of my mouth is a lie, so why should I say anything.”

 

            I felt so,,,

            Numb.

            Shouldn’t I cry? Grip my chest in pain? Something?

            After I got off the phone I just stared at the ceiling, in disbelief.

            Marriage Counseling? Did she actually tell me that we should go to marriage counseling? What is it exactly that I haven’t done? I have bent over backwards. I have taken more abuse in the last 3 years than any man should have to take in a lifetime. And why? To prove my love? To prove how strong I can be?

            Proving what a fool I have been.

            And now, this. It’s all my fault. Right.

            I give up.

            Whatever you say…

 

JHO